Tuesday, January 26, 2016

I Create As I Speak

In the time before writing, and then the advent of technologically enhanced communications allowing mass media, when someone wanted to manipulate others, they had to convince them to fall prey to their racket with only their words.

The original racket of manipulation and sheeple herding through oral communication, is clearly described in the New Testament of the Bible, when analyzing Jesus Christ's critique and condemnation of the Pharisees and their practice of Priestcraft. Based on the "Traditions of the Elders" in which the Pharisees claimed divinely granted powers through oral transmission of the laws from God to Moses, the Pharisees set themselves up with one heck of a racket for power to dictate and control the behavior of their followers, as well as giving them their own authority for taxing the wealth of their subjects. THEY claimed their power as lawgivers was invested into their class by the spoken word of God. This is the traditions of the elders that was then transmitted through the ages by an oral tradition amongst the Pharisees.

Thus, by claiming a divine source of oral tradition for their laws directly from God, they created the original "Matrix" of artificial and abstract construct of reality to set themselves up as the Theocratic rulers of society. In other words, by claiming God told the progenitors of their Priest Class an oral law, THEY were able to construct an entire social order and cultural hierarchy, setting themselves up at the top, to receive the tributes, indulgences, tithes and other offerings from the masses below who were seeking redemption for their sins....and those sins were defined by the words of the Pharisees themselves, citing their "Traditions of the Elders" as their sole authority to rule society.

THEY spoke. The sheeple listened and obeyed, accepting their oral claims of God's authority, thereby submitting to the creation of the Pharisee's system of Priestcraft hierarchy to enable their authoritarian control and exploitation of the masses.

This is their "magik" and it's the same name of the game as it ever was today as it was thousands of years ago. The answer to it then, is the answer as it is now: the Truth that will set us free... free from the rule and control of THEY who defile all of mankind by speaking the evils of their heart to rule and control we the sheeple through the propagation of their lies and deceit to create our current dystopia.


I've often written off the value of the higher education I attained while attending five years of institutionalized indoctrination in the hallowed halls of academentia at my State University, as mostly a giant wast of time. I largely credit all my graduate studies at the University of the Autodidact as the most influential and meaningful on my present condition in this life as a raving conspiritard in our Brave New World Order.

But it was the years I spent in Business School majoring in Marketing that is probably most responsible for  eventually helping me to open my eyes to the reality of our world and how our rulers use mass media and transhumanist technological "progress" to socially engineer we the sheeple. For in retrospect, I realize that all of those classes on Marketing were nothing more than a study of the oldest tactic employed by THEY who sought power and control over their fellow human beings: divide and conquer. And the best way to divide and conquer, is to get we the sheeple to divide ourselves by categorizing and segmenting ourselves based on both objective and subjective differences they create for us out of thin air.

The study of Marketing in undergrad Business school is nothing more than studying the art of psy-ops and propaganda to get the viewers and consumers to divide and conquer themselves so as to allow the marketer to capture the targeted segment of consumers in order to convert them into cash cows that can be continuously milked until dry.

In one of my classes, we spent well over a month worth of classes analyzing "Generations" and the generalizations that define each era so as to forge your message to more effectively reach your targeted market. We studied the various stereotypes, generalized habits and attitudes of the Silent Generation, the Baby Boomers, Generation X, and at that time, the emerging Generation Y. We also dedicated some classroom discussion time on speculating about the generation that came to be known as the Millennials. Over at the Dusk in Autumn blog, agnostic has got a lot of insightful posts regarding the differences between the various Generations. But if you really want to see the differences, look at the interactions of the mostly Generation X dread ilk over at Vox Popoli and the Boomers anytime Vox Day makes a post on the topic.

It would be insane to try and argue that there are in fact no differences between the various generations of the 20th and 21st centuries...but I have a different contention to make on the topic. Prior to the advent of mass mind control enabled by mass media technology, there was no real substantial differences between generations...at least not the sort that so thoroughly and contentiously divided us for the past century. Culture was far more static and slow changing, and influenced much more by religion and cultural traditions and norms.

But the advent of the tell-a-vision, radio broadcasting, the consolidation of print media and the popular music industry all gave those with the same agenda of societal control as the Pharisees of old, the means to "Speak" to the mass audience so as to create such artificially imposed divisions as "generations." THEY told each different generation that the older generations were "uncool" and "old-fashioned." With mass media and commercial consumerism, THEY were able to institute a continuous, dynamic change in music, dance, fashion, clothing, hairstyles, slang and lingo, and ultimately an ethos and moral code for each generation of youth entering their young adult years, so that THEY successfully severed the connections between generations to divide and conquer we the sheeple.

Just for one example of this, we need only look at the differences in marriage and family between the different generations. Our Grandparents were for the most part the last generation that followed the patterns of multiple generations that preceded them. They mostly dated, got married, had sex, then had children. Our parents dated, got married, had sex, had children, got divorced, dated, re-married, had more kids and often got divorced again. We (GenX) dated, had sex, had children, then got married, then divorced, then remarried. The younger generation don't date, they hook up and have sex with a multitude of partners (or they're incel and resort to teh Pr0n, or gay or transgendered or whatevers). Marriage is mostly out of the question, whether they have kids, use birth control, or have abortions or not.

The common cultural ethos and paradigm that drove the changes in mating patterns and family formation (and disintegration) trends are all different for each generation, and it was this artificially created division causing each successive generation to reject the former generations morality that lead to this cultural devolution and attitudes towards family over the span of a few decades.

The entire story of the 20th century, is one of mass culture-driven generational division, so that we have now reached the stage where we are nearly conquered and subjugated to the worldwide Brave New World Order they have been inexorably working towards for aeons.

THEY are only as successful as they are, because we give them and their 'magik' its power when THEY speak and we listen. The only way to break the spell THEY have over us, is to stop listening.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

The Technical Ecstasy of Handheld MADness

If one wants to see true democracy in action, than one need only consider the one trend for which the majority throughout the world have most decidedly embraced. It is the defining paradigm of our time. If you too care to keep up with the trend and follow the herd, one need only get a Mobile Affirmation Device (M.A.D.), download the appropriate apps, and log on to the social MEdia and join in the fun of mutually assured delusions.

As a child of Generation X (aka Gen eXtended adolescence), I used to consider smart phone addiction as just a minor first world problem for Millenials and Generation Z. Nowadays, I stare in dumbfounded amazement at how swiftly and completely the iBorg has assimilated across all the generations of we the sheeple. Nearly all denizens of our Brave New World Order are now plugged in to the mindmeld of endless solipsism supply on teh Interwebz, thanks to the unholy combination of NSA data-mining apps social MEdia and the 24-7 connection to M.A.D.'s.

I recently attended a concert, the first in several years, and this is the view I had of the performance for the entire evening:

It is almost as if it has not been captured by your M.A.D., uploaded to the cloud, then posted-tweeted-pinned or emailed, it never really happened.

Resistance seems futile. While I do own a M.A.D., I do have my virtual affirmations apps set to the lowest possible settings - i.e. I basically don't use my iPhone for texting, email or social MEdia.  All that stuff can wait until I get home to the desktop for my digital media fix.

Drugs are bad Mm'kay

Of all the dystopian fiction I've consumed in novels, regularly scheduled tell-a-vision programming and movies over the past three decades or so, as far as I can recall, not a single one predicted our present day palm zombie apocalypse and the widespread and nearly uncontrollable addiction to virtual approval dispensed by a handheld device many ultimatelly end up loving more than life itself.

Besides the very real dangers of M.A.D. distracted driving, the culture of self-obsession and a desire to project an idealized self-portrait to incessantly seek out virtual peer approval and validation has taken on a life of it's own and nearing pandemic proportions.

In previous generations, we had a tradition of fairy tales and stories that warned the next generation of youth about the pitfalls of the seven deadly sins, including narcissistic self-absorption and envy...especially for young women.

"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall....

"...who's the fairest of them all?"

Times they are a changin'.

"Smart phone, smart phone in my hand...

...who is the sexiest slut in all the land?"

Used to be, when a young girl engaged in behavior that had potentially serious long term negative affects on her life, like revealing and potentially embarassing pictures stored forever in cyberspace, the previous generation of older relatives like her mother or her aunts would set her straight and give her badly needed guidance in navigating the world of dating and inter-gender relations....

Keepin' it classy, Momma!

Such inter-generational guidance is long gone. 

Don't even bother asking Grandma...she's got her own affirmations to solicit from her own M.A.D.

 But it's not just teh Womynz. Since it now seems like I've turned into an old drunken curmudgeon with a gun sitting on the porch yelling at the youth to get off my lawn, I'll give any young gents reading some badly needed inter-generational guidance:

Be circumspect and self conscious about how you utilize your M.A.D.'s. Save it for that which is really important!

Several years ago, I used to read about this thing called "transhumanism" and think that the day man and machine are melded into a bio-mechanic organism was just far-fetched SyFy fantasty. Now I know I was wrong in that initial assessment. Transhumanism is already here.

Our egos and our sense of self have been captured, uploaded and photoshopped into the best possible virtual representational avatar of who we are in teh real life.

Where does this phenomenon end up? Where are we going as a species with this new found addiction to the hagiographic distortions of virtual handheld reflections of unreality?

Never fear, for when the end is near, not a moment shall be missed by the masses of M.A.D. wielding observers!

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


My favorite Southron Paleface called me a pineapple a couple of posts ago that elicited a hearty Laugh Out Loud In teh Real Life from me.

He followed up the with this: "...see, racists can make racist nicknames against each other. in the good ol' days that meant camaraderie!"

Commenter Victor Michaelson weighed in as well: "It reminded me of the America I grew up in, where guys could razz their buddies and it wasn't a Federal offense."

Damn straight you raciss crackers!

We got a special word for you melanin-deficient and solar-sensitive folks here in Hawaii: Haole (pronounced "How-Lee").

From the greatest movie ever filmed in Hawaii

Most folks that have never been to Hawaii, or who have only visited briefly on vacation, have usually only heard of the word haole associated with only negative, racist connotations...the equivalent of the "N-word" for white folks.

That's simply not true. It's a very versatile word and can be used as a simple adjective, a term of endearment or employed as a provocative epithet. As a fair-complexioned (but not totally pale) hapa-haole mutt, I've had the term used on myself in all of these contexts at one time or another. Yet, whenever haole folks come to Hawaii and find themselves being referred by that term, they almost always take immediate offense.

Take this guy for instance:

More haole den haole...

Shua ting, brah, you one human...but you still one haole.

But seriously, let's take a closer look at where this term came from. It's a common myth that the term comes from the Hawaiians who first encountered Captain Cook and his crew's pale faces, they called them Ha'ole, a compound word made from combining Ha- meaning breath, with 'ole meaning without.

This legend is up for debate, as the linguists who study Hawaiian language and the Pidgin English have belabored to dispel the commonly accepted origin. To the credentialed classes, haole is it's own Hawaiian word, and it simply means foreigner:

So if we are to literally go by the textbook, haole really doesn't have anything to do with white skin. In theory, yes, but in practice, no. Thanks to the deluge of immigration from all corners of the globe mixing and miscegenating for a couple of centuries, Hawaii is the so-called ideal "melting pot" our modern day SJW's and progressives say they are supposedly working towards with the rest of the world. In such a chaotic environment of so many different skin tones, hair and eye colors, race is the first way we immediately identify each other, and in that context, haole means white.

I do believe Hawaii is the ideal "melting pot" society....but there are two distinct features about what we have here that makes it much different from the progressive/SJW ideal.

First thing that makes it "work" is we are all race realists, race conscious and racist to the core. It's the only way we can all get along. We don't try to uphold some unrealistic, mystical feeling of holiness attributed to the supposedly ideal paradigm of  "color blindness." In fact, we have the exact opposite. We're more color aware, we're all equal opportunity racists. We LOVE our stereotypes and our racist jokes. At least that was the Hawaii I grew up in. Because of this, we all have similar words like haole that are used to designate all the various races that call our islands home. We got similar words for the Japanese, Chinese, Koreans, Samoans, Micronesians, Filipinos, Puerto Ricans, Vietnamese, and Hispanics. Most of these terms are just like haole - they can serve as simple adjectives or spitefully intended perjoratives. In most cases, you just add the word fuckin' in front, and the harmless adjective turns into hateful, bigoted and racist invective.

Here's a song from the 70's from Hawaiian music's most popular act of that era, the Beamer Brothers. with one of their most popular songs that is still sung and played by musicians at parties and backyard jams everywhere in the islands to this day. In this song, all of the major ethnic groups and their sterotypes regarding their cultural practices and socio-economic status are fair game for good natured-ribbing:

The ending of the song really highlights the main point of this post here:

One thing I when notice 'bout this place
All us guys we tease the other race
It's amazing that we can all live in the same place

I sadly see more and more of the next generation of local folks accepting the progressive SJW mind rot programming of "equality" and "anti-racism," and our common culture is suffering for it. For decades, local stand up comedians made entire careers out of night club routines and television specials making fun of all the races that made up the multi-ethnic society of 20th century Hawaii. There were no sacred cows. We were all fair game...and it had us all laughing our asses off. Yeah, we may have been laughing at you...but then one minute later, it was my turn and you were now laughing at me too. And thus, we were all both laughing at and with each other.

This locally produced tell-a-vision show from 1984 could be considered a good representation of the high point of Hawaii's functionally racist society. It was a childhood favorite of mine, and I was pleasantly surprised to find a clip of it posted on youtube.

In case you didn't figure it out yet, while black folks are "foreigners" they are not haole. We call them Popolos. Hawaiian island/urban legend goes that the first African descendants who came to our shores where of the particular hue that was so dark, the Hawaiians thought they looked purple. The Hawaiian word for purple is popolu...hence popolo. I don't know if it's true or not, but I do know this: just like the word haole, popolo can be used interchangably as mere adjective, a term of endearment, or a race-based slur.

Speaking of stereotypes, we local folk also understand that most popolos that recently arrive from the mainland for are far more sensitive about race than any other race. We have met more than a few black folks that quickly figured out popolo was the Hawaiian word for those of African ancestry, and many immediately equate it with the N-word in significance. Not true though. If we are trying to be deliberately offensive, we'll use the N-word like any other garden variety racist in the world today.

Nevertheless, if we local folks are trying to talk about black people and there may be some within hearing distance when we are conversing who may possibly get offended, we may sometimes say Olopop instead of Popolo (popolo said backwards).

As I mentioned earlier, I was pleasantly surprised to find the preceding clip on youtube, because it is not commercially available anywhere here in 2015. This clip was undoubtedly someone using their smartphone to video clip their VHS or betamax copy of the program. You see, in the last decade or so, our formerly somewhat cooperative society of equal opportunity racism has been infected with the PC mind virus, and the SJW's holy church of blessed colorblindness has caused many folks to scream victimhood at racial humor that was one of our mainstays of local Hawaiian culture of the 20th century. So many of these race-based shows and stand up comedy routines are no longer available or reproduced or re-released anymore, out of fear someone or another will get offended and file a lawsuit to recover damages for their soiled panties or sand filled ass cracks.

That being said, one of the original local comedians from that earlier era of racist harmony still seems to be going at it on youtube, and this clip will give you a pretty good rundown on our history of ethnic diversity and multi-cultural adaptation with regards to linguistics and cultural attitudes of our multi-cult society:

This comedian, Andy Bumatai, was one of the most popular stand up comedians and local tell-a-vision personalities of the 80's. In 2015, this kind of comedy is increasingly coming under fire. Note his disclaimer at the beginning of the clip. Even 5-10 years ago, such a disclaimer would not have been necessary. Times they are a changin'. More and more of the younger generations of Hawaii's locals have been assimilated into the PC-SJW Borg by globalized mass media programming and public education brainwashing.

No siree, it's the 21st century, and we can no longer hurt anyone's FEEEEEEEELLLLLIIINNGS. 

Everybody is so fuckin' sensitive. It sucks. I want my openly racist society back. More and more we see letters to the editors and magazine articles and tell-a-vision programs pushing the "colorblind" paradigm and that all of the racist stereotypes that bonded us all together in common racism in 20th century Hawaii, are now being considered more and more to be  thoughtcrime and badthink that must be expunged from our consciousness. It makes me sick to see Hawaii's uniquely harmonious and cooperative society founded on a solid sense of racial differences, slowly and inexorably being subsumed by the homogenized and globalized Brave New World Order mass media culture programming of hypersensitivity and ludicrous "equality."

Up until recently, we didn't have a pretend, fake ideal that everyone supposedly openly touts while harboring secret racism in their carefully guarded hearts and circumspect tongues. No siree, here in our island paradise, we embraced bigotry and race-based differences whole-heartedly and without reservation. 

Our code word for it nowadays is "local humor" I've been to parties where people asked if it were okay to tell "local jokes," basically asking permission from all present if it's okay to tell race-based stereotypical jokes. Most are still down with the program...but more and more people are starting to reject what was once a proudly and openly racist society...and from where I sit, we 'aint better off for it.

See...one of the reasons our society of mixed races "works" is because no matter what race you are or what culture you come from, we have this overriding culture of  "ALOHA SPIRIT" that most people quickly assimilate to. In many ways, it's similar to how all the different pale face crackers assimilated into the AMERICAN DREAM in the 19th century. Anglo-Germanic-Iberian-Mediterranean-Slavic-Aryan-Nordic migrations all arrived with different cultures and languages, with the only thing in common being melanin-deficient and solar-sensitive skin. But buying into the American dream eventually gave us what many now consider simply as white Americans (or Canadians).

Just as the miscegenation of all those Euro-strains of paleface resulted in a generic, homogenized race called "white" we have the same thing here in Hawaii....but it 'aint called Hawaiian. Only those of us with actual Half-Savage Aboriginal blood in our veins can be called Hawaiian. Those who are born and raised here, but have no Hawaiian blood, and are for the most part the Oriental descendents of the plantation workers imported by the haole sugar barons as third world serfs, they are something else - "local." 

Here are some examples of this common culture of "Aloha spirit" that define "local" off the top of my head:

* We get rush hour traffic as bad as anywhere else in our modern world. But nobody honks their horns here...ever. Unless it's due to an extreme situation like an imminent accident or trying to catch someones attention in a dire situation, we just don't use our car horns like that. If you find yourself in Hawaiian rush hour traffic and you hear someone honking their horn in frustration... well there's the fuckin' haole (regardless of the race of the actual driver.)

* When you try to merge into traffic, put on your traffic signal and in a manner of moments, someone will let you in, guaranteed. A couple of fuckin' haole's may blast past you and not let you in, but eventually a local is going to slow down and hand wave you in. We even let haole's merge, but then curse them when they don't show appreciation for the courtesy.

* Speaking of traffic in Hawaii, here's one of our more popular bumper stickers:

*  Other than traffic customs, we have a generalized culture of common courtesy like holding the doors open
for complete strangers, and before the ubiquity of cell phones, we always stopped to help fellow motorists with broke down cars and flat tires.

* When we eat in self service restaurants, fast food joints and plate lunch places, we clean up our tables and throw away all of our rubbish. The first time I went to the US Mainland at age 18, one of the first big culture shocks I experienced was seeing fast food patrons leave their trays and rubbish at their tables when they were done eating for the workers to clean up.

These are just a few examples of what I'm trying to get at. The "melting pot" ideal can only work when their is a common ideal that various racial stocks strive to assimilate to. 

As the comedian stated in the preceding clip, there are two kinds of haole, local haole and haole. I believe it actually goes further than that. In terms of use as a harmless adjective, haole just means white skin. No more, no less.

As a perjorative, however, it really means a white skinned person who doesn't conform to local norms aka "No more aloha." Most of us mixed race mutts and half savage racists of Hawaii got no problem with local haoles...or even haoles who are not born and raised, but demonstrate an affinity for the Aloha spirit ethos. Many a local who 'hates' haoles in general, end up marrying one and making hapa-haole babies. Despite having a paleface spouse and paleface children, will still "hate" haoles (the NO ALOHA kine.)

For real kine...some of my best friends are Japs, Pakes, Soles, Kanaks, Pordagees, Buk Buks, Yobos, Haoles and Popolos. I also know folks of all said races who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.

I once got into a scrap with a filipino kid in middle school, because he called me a fuckin' haole. I told him to fuck off, I'm Hawaiian, and that he was a dumb flip buk buk whose parents came here to pick pineapple for $.05 a day and that he should take his ass back to the Philipines. We punched each other in the face a few times, the teachers broke us up, and we later became friends when we had to serve detention together. He would often greet me as "haole boy" and I'd call him buk buk, and we'd laugh as we shook hands.

It's pretty much how we roll here in Hawaii.

In summation, racial awareness plays an important role in Hawaiian society, but it's not the be all end all. If you "get" what Aloha means, you can fit and find a comfortable space amongst others, regardless of your race.


To wrap things up, I offer you this quick guide for HBD-Hawaiian Style.

Since most of the previous section of this post discussed the term Haole, Whites are omitted here to avoid excessive redundancy. We talked enough about da haoles.

Blacks: Popolo, Olopops. Most popolos come to Hawaii as stationed military personnel. Most usually don't get it any better or worse than any other minority in Hawaii. If they get involved in an aggressive or violent conflict, the N-word may get used on them, but popolo is usually preferred. There are no real popolo jokes unique to Hawaii, as most are just popular black jokes that just substitute the word popolo for the N-word.

What do you call 1000 popolo skydivers jumping out of  da airplanes all at da same time? Nightfall.

Chinese: Pake ('Pah-kay'), Chink, slant-eye, slope, Cha Wan (chinese name for the rice bowl haircut), Chang. Terms When used perjoratively, Pake and Chang denote stinginess, miserliness, an unhealthy love of money and unscrupulous in acquiring it. Most Jewish jokes will work in Hawaii by substituting Pake.

Wot da difference between one Pake and one canoe? Canoes sometimes tip.

How do da Pakes name their children? They copy da sounds of da cash register! Ching! Chang! Chong!

Whats da odda way dey name da kids? Dey throw silvah weah down da stairs!

Filipinos: Flip, Buk Buk ('Book-Book'), Manong (Mah-nong). Notorious for eating goat and dog meat (particularly black dog), avid gamblers and chicken fighters. Also notorious for living with 30 extended family members in a 3 bedroom townhome...or buying a 3 bedroom house and building large extensions that resemble Spanish villas, so they can house 30 more family members.

You heard of da new Filipino cookbook? 101 ways for wok your dog.

What do da Buk Buk's call da dog catcha truck? Meals on Wheels

What do Buk Buk's call da Humane Society? (local animal shelter) Foodland! (local grocery store chain)

Japanese: Japanee, Jap, Buddha-head, rice-eye, bolo head, nip. Haole-fied Japanese are called katonk or  banana (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). The largest homogeneous ethnicity block in Hawaii. Least likely race to date, marry or even socialize significantly with all the other races. Back in da school days, if you wanted to start a scrap with a jap, you said this:

What you said, Buddha-head? Eh, no lie, rice eye!

Jews: Haole. Since most Jews are fair skinned, we don't give them their own racial category. They're just haole.  And we don't really tell Jewish jokes here either. That's what Pake jokes are for. But that does remind me of the one Jewish joke I once heard at a party...told by a hapa-haole Jew (he was half Jewish, half Popolo, born and raised here):

Know how copper wire got invented? A Jew and a Pake were fighting over a penny.

Koreans: Yobo, Kim Chee, Kink (Korean chink), Seoul Brother (A Korean that acts black). Because Koreans were relatively late comers in terms of immigration compared to the other Oriental ethnicities, Korean jokes are not that popular, but there are a few. Yobo is the Korean word for sweetheart, but in Hawaii, it's used as a derogatory reference. Most korean jokes are puns off of the word.

Heard of da Korean police man? Yobocop! 

Samoans: Sole (So-lay). Due to their reputations as very large, strong and fierce fighters who are ready to scrap at the drop of a hat, there are no real derogatory terms for Samoans. Sole is what Samoans call themselves, and locals usually can use the term casually....but even using that word wrong with an easy to anger Samoan could prove volatile. Most Sole fall into two categories: 1) super nice, easy going, humorous, fun loving and gregarious. 2) Ultra violent, looking for trouble, very easy to anger and always ready to give Palagi and others a sase (strike)! Nevertheless, there are a large number of Samoan jokes that mostly focus on making fun of their speech. These jokes are usually only told in hushed whispers after checking around to make sure none are around to hear....

Heard of da Samoan Accoutant? Tua Tua Isa Foa!

Heard of da Samoan who fell off da couch? Sole Fe Lafa Sofa!

Portuguese: Portagee, Pordagee, Pocho, Porcho. Haoles often think they get the worst of the prejudice jokes in Hawaii. They're wrong. That would be the Pordagees. Infamous for being obnoxious by talking way too much, talking without thinking first, and considered the dimmest, least intelligent race. Take any Polak joke and substitute Pordagee and you have typical Hawaii pordagee jokes. Despite the joking reputation, Pordagees are usually quite sharp and witty, and many of the most popular comedians are proud Pordagees who tell the best-loved Pordagee jokes.

You heard why get no more ice in Portugal? Da old Pordagee lady with da recipe when die.

Know why da Pordagee farmer was feeding his sheep scrap metal? He was trying for raise steel wool.

As I said, their reputation is one of dim wits....but here's a Pordagee joke that belies the stereotype:

Know why Pordagee Jokes are so short? So Hawaiians can understand them.

A Pordagee guy told that one to me after I told him a Pordagee joke. Touche!

Kanaka, Kanaks, Kanaka Maoli. Oft stereotype is lazy, indolent; don't like to work. When the haole sugar plantation owners needed a workforce to farm their sugar, there were not enough Hawaiians to work because so many had died from introduced diseases like small pox, measles and STDs. And those that did survive, would still only work 'Hawaiian style." We can broke ass, but we goin' take one mid day break when da sun is hottest in da sky. The haole plantation owners didn't like that one bit, so they brought in all the other immigrants who would work from sun up to sun down with barely a break for minimal wages.

 Take any lazy jokes about blacks and substitute Hawaiian.

How come da Pakes no like marry Hawaiians? Dey no like kids too lazy for pick sugar cane.

How come da Buk Buks no like marry Hawaiians? Dey no like kids too lazy for pick pineapple.

How come da Popolos no like marry Hawaiians? Dey no like kids too lazy for steal.

'Aint diversity grand?